Navigating the Holidays as an Expat: A Survival Guide
The holiday season is generally a time of joy, warmth, and celebration, but for expats, it can also bring unique challenges. In this survival guide, I explore practical tips and strategies to help those living overseas make the most of the festive season even if they're spending it away from home. See the 3 main sections below, with some specific tips for anyone living in Madrid:
1. Coping with homesickness
2. Embracing local celebrations
3. Creating your own meaningful traditions
1. Coping with Homesickness
i. Acknowledge the feelings
Simply acknowledging homesickness is an important step to navigating the emotional challenges of being away from home when the festive season kicks in. Homesickness is a natural part of the expat experience and can often be triggered when things we typically associate with the holiday period aren’t present or don’t happen wherever you live now (e.g. friends who now live in Sydney lament the lack of a nativity play for their children). Acknowledge that it's okay to feel this way and that it doesn't diminish your ability to adapt and thrive in your new environment. And consider journalling or talking to someone about your feelings as a way of helping you sit with and process them.
ii. Connect with loved ones at home through video calls and voice notes
This might seem like an obvious one, but my top tip here would be to plan video calls in advance, and be clear about the length of such calls. If you have kids (of almost any age), they’re unlikely to want to sit through back-to-back video calls with family on Christmas Day morning. So, connect with family back home briefly to wish them a Happy Holiday and schedule in time before and/or after for a proper catch up.
And a great idea for a message with more impact is to send a whatsapp voice note or video message. They are much quicker to draft than a written message, convey so much more warmth and feeling, and they’re great for kids to both record and receive too.
iii. Find events locally that remind you of home
This may or may not be possible depending on where you live, but if you can’t find something, consider joining forces with expat and local friends to recreate your own.
In Madrid, we are lucky enough to have
- a Christmas pantomime performed by the Madrid Players. This year, it’s Snow White;
- we also have carol singing in the Retiro Park at 12h on 16/17th December this year, with a clear dual purpose: to raise money for good causes and to have a good old sing-a-long!;
- and consider paying a visit to Father Christmas or the Three Kings at one of the Christmas Markets or at Bless Hotel on c/Velázquez, by appointment only.
Other ideas include:
- Christmas markets (in Madrid the best ones can be found in Plaza Mayor, Nuevos Ministerios and Plaza de España)
- ice-skating at a pop-up rink,
- Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve (at St. George’s Anglican church in Madrid)
- organising a round of Secret Santa with friends or colleagues;
- and going to see the Christmas lights (on foot or on the special ‘bus de la navidad’).
2. Embracing Local Celebrations
i. Explore and participate in local holiday festivities.
Ask local friends or post a question in your local Facebook group to find out when and where the best local holiday festivities are happening.
In Madrid, we have:
- various Christmas fairs (Torrejón Navidades and Getafe Navidalia);
- carol singing in Spanish (at the Mercado de Maravaillas in Tetuán on 23/12/23 and 30/12/23 at 12h);
- and of course the Cabalgata (when the Three Kings parade through the streets throwing sweets at all the kids!). There is the main Calbalgata on 5 January but lots of neighbourhoods and towns have their own parades ahead of the big day which are perfect for smaller kids – we’ll be attending the Calbagata de Chamartín on 3 January from 17h.
ii. Learn about cultural traditions and incorporate them into your celebrations.
Again, you’ll want to research events locally through friends, the Two Fat Expats Facebook group or local Facebook groups. Also check out your local Town Hall and Library for posters and leaflets.
All over Spain, we are blessed with Belenes (beautiful curated nativity scenes bursting with attention to detail) – our favourite is displayed in the Centro Cultural de Nicolás Salmerón; the Belén at the Hospital San Rafael in Chamartín is also popular; and we’ve heard great things about the Belén in El Escorial which we’re hoping to visit for the first time this year.
In Spain, I would also encourage you to indulge in as many turrones, polvorones, mazapanes and roscones as you can, in all their shapes and sizes!
Consider incorporating local traditions into your own celebrations, creating a harmonious blend of your home culture and the newfound richness of your expat home. After all, the beauty of the holiday season lies in the diversity of traditions coming together.
iii. Connect with local friends to deepen your sense of belonging.
It can often feel lonely over the holiday period when local friends typically spend time with their own families. Consider asking to join in their celebrations, especially if they celebrate Christmas or another holiday in a particular religious or cultural way. Participating in their traditions can deepen your understanding of the local culture and strengthen connections.
And be sure to extend your own invitations. Whilst local friends might not be available on certain "family" days, you could always invite them to a traditional celebration of your own on another day.
A few years ago, a British friend hosted a mince pie party (after home baking no less than 50+ mince pies for the occasion!), her Spanish colleagues were intrigued and delighted by the sweet bites, and it was a lovely way of sharing a little bit of home with her nearest and dearest here in Madrid. The warmth of the holidays is magnified when shared with friends who feel like family.
I mentioned Secret Santa earlier. If you do decide to organise a round of Amigo Invisible as its known in Spain with local and/or expat friends, one idea could be to gift the ingredients and recipe for one of your favourite dishes from home. This year, my husband has been gifted a carbonara making set by his Italian colleague including some delicious guanciale (pancetta), the best pecorino cheese and authentic Italian spaghetti. Not a drop of cream or ounce of bacon in sight! We can't wait to make it.
3. Creating Meaningful Traditions
i. Establish new holiday traditions in your host country.
In Spain, Reyes (celebrated on the 5th and 6th of January), is a cherished time steeped in family traditions. However, for some expats like myself during my initial years in Madrid, this family-centric atmosphere could sometimes evoke a sense of loneliness and exclusion. My expat friends and I were lucky enough to be rescued by one of our own. Recognising the need for connection, he graciously hosted a dinner for a group of expats on the evening of the 5th of January, transforming what could have been a lonely time into a lively and memorable night out. The tradition lasted many years and still form some of my fondess holiday memories.
Now, with a family of my own, we have created a new tradition. We are lucky enough to live near a branch of the much-loved chocolatería San Ginés and so we now go for churros and chocolate for breakfast on Christmas Eve morning! This simple yet heartwarming ritual is a sweet reminder that traditions, old and new, can bring warmth and connection to any holiday season.
ii. Combine local and familiar customs for a unique celebration.
In our mixed English-Spanish household (I’m from the UK and my husband is from Madrid), the most important celebrations over Christmas are on Christmas Eve/Day and Reyes. New Year would normally be another excuse for a big get-together but we typically spend 5-6 days over New Year's Eve in the Czech Republic with my brother, sister-in-law and 3 nephews, who live just outside of Prague near where my SIL grew up.
For Christmas Eve (the important day for my husband), we have dinner at my parents-in-law with ensaladilla, langostinos and lamb for supper. Then on Christmas Day (the important day for me), I host with a roast with all the trimmings. I always source Christmas crackers (Nest in Malasaña (Plaza San Ildefonso, 3) sells the best ones in my opinion, although I’ve also seen people making their own on Instagram recently so I might give that a go this year using a loo roll tube for the middle with a small gift/toy inside and wrapping paper on the outside. Check out @staceysolomon’s reel on 21/11/23).
One thing we have to think about is meal timings! My girls are young still (4 and 2) and Christmas Eve dinner in Spain typically starts around 20:30, which is normally bedtime in our house. We’ll likely celebrate the dinner a bit earlier again this year so that my girls can enjoy it and still be on good form for Christmas Day. Most Spanish kids I know have an amazing ability to be on great form and sleep later in the mornings when they go to bed later but my girls struggle if they are in bed much after 21:30 – clearly they’re very English in that sense ;)
Conclusion
In conclusion, it's evident that the challenges of homesickness and the quest for meaningful celebrations are universal experiences. Yet, with resilience, creativity, and the spirit of togetherness, expats can transform these challenges into opportunities for connection and joy.
As expats, we learn to embrace the ebb and flow of the holiday experience, adapting and evolving with each passing year. The warmth of shared moments, the joy of discovery, and the bonds formed in the face of homesickness make these celebrations abroad unique and unforgettable.
So, here's to the expatriate holiday experience – a tapestry woven with threads of resilience, cultural fusion, and the enduring spirit of celebration. May your holidays be filled with joy, connection, and the magic of newfound traditions! 🌟🎁
#ExpatHolidays #CelebrateAbroad #JoyfulJourney